i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He has the fingertips of a God
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