just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
