Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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