Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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