What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize