how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
