i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
