White coat. Heels.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
