Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.