dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo