This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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