oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
