I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize