if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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