The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
