i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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