I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
