last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
