bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
