I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
