so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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