I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
