she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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