So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize