Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
