This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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