Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Still dying that you shit outside
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
