I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she looked like the before picture.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
