I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
