girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
