she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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