party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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