i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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