I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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