Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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