remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
