3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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