Can Purell be used as lube?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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