i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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