Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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