this beer tastes like vomit already
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
