pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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