"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
