i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
