So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
