Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How does one acquire holy water?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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