Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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