at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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