This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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