She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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