All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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