went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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