Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
