do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
