Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
