That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
