So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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