so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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