So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
should my penis look like a turkey
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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