So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
