I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
