Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was born a porn star she said
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
