Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
