so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Terrible idea I love it
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