he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
