direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
