I will die if light touches me.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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