I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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