thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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