this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
